Tears Don't Fall

This is so hard. Missing someone but you can't do anything about it. It hurts as hell to know that the reason why you can't be together is not because you don't have feelings towards one another, but it's because of certain things that is unavoidable. A very strong reason to not be together but still involves feelings. It sucks knowing that both people can't meet each other's expectations. It hurts knowing that you could try harder but somehow one of you don't see the point to carry on with it anymore. Love hurts, everybody knows that. But I guess it's ta risk you have to take to be happy. If you don't try, you wouldn't know what's the outcome of it, right?

BLEEEERRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

Everything I'm Not

Please God, give me strength to go through all this.

Cry For You

I hate it when people take things for granted. I hate it when they don't appreciate things when they have it. I hate people who only likes to chase. Basically I hate ungrateful people.

I don't fucking understand. They said they care. But I was at home lying on my bed with no food, they didn't even come up and check up on me. Or atleast send someone to check up on me. But when I wanna go to World Stage, they said they care cuz I'm sick and they don't want me to get worse. WHATEVER. This is fucking unfair.

Secret

People are so fucked up. They are always looking for something to talk about. And those people yg commment comment tuh tak sedar diri ker? I've got dirts on ALL OF YOU.

I know one of you are sleeping around. Mentang mentang la she's not here and the boyfriend is in Malaysia, selamba la kan. So who's the bitch now?

I know one a lot of stories about one of you whose sex life dah jadi bahan for people at your workplace to talk about.

One of you has a bestfriend who cannot be trusted. All your secrets are out.

And to one of you, jangan kecoh sangat. Your boyfriend has been cheating on you A LOT. Go jaga your boyfriend la better daripada jaga tepi kain orang.



Come on la, people makes mistakes. You don't choose who you fall for. Nobody's perfect. But no one sebok enough to go and spill everything that you did right?

How Do I Breathe

Amir is sick today. I'm so worried and in a way I feel so damn useless cuz I can't be there for him. Sigh, I hope he will get well soon. Tak sanggup tengok dia sakit mcm nie.

And I'm sick too! I think jangkit with him kot. So funny~ But my condition is not as teruk as his la. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I hate feeling useless.

Me Against The World

It's so damn hard living like this. I have to avoid my parents and all. Susahkan my elder sister buka pintu in the middle of the night. I have to wait for my parents to sleep first in order to get into the house. So tiring, I wish I could change the way things are right now. I really don't know how to. I know people would say "just talk to your parents, explain how things are and everything", but will they accept it? I hate rejections.

I love my sister to death for doing all this things for me. I know it's not easy, but my parents are asking her to take care of me now cuz they don't know what to do with me anymore. Am I that bad? Maybe I am. Sigh, it's so hard to lower down my ego when it comes to these kinda things. But whatever it is, I really appreciate what my sister is doing for me. She's been very patient with me, trying not to scream or yell at me. Right now I'm really trying to be on her good side. I don't go home late anymore (fine, it's still late but I'm making progress!). It's not that I want to go back late, it's just that I reeeeally don't wanna bump into my parents. I don't think I can handle the whole marah/maki just yet. I don't feel like going home late anymore since Amir is not the kinda guy who goes back late. And I'm so thankful becuz in a way it keeps me in line. Hey, you can't expect me to change just like that right. But I know that I'm making progress. Sila bersabar :D

Speaking of Amir, we're officially together! Hahaha it feels weird being someone's girlfriend now, but in a good way, of course! Hehehe told the girls via Facebook just now, hahaha senang. But yea, whatever it is atleast there's one good thing that is happening to me now, yeay!

Got interview tomorrow. Will tell the details bila dah dapat kerja. Weeeeee!